fear

62. The following thoughts may sometimes trouble us: Who knows whether my past confessions have been good? Who knows whether I have felt real sorrow for my sins? Who knows if my sins have been forgiven? Who knows whether I am in the grace of God? Who knows whether I shall obtain the grace of final perseverance, and who knows if I am predestined to be saved? But it is not God's intention that this uncertainty should cause us these anxieties and scruples. In His infinite wisdom He has hidden from us the mysteries of His justice and mercy, so that our ignorance should prove a most efficacious help to keep us in humility. Therefore the profit we ought to derive from such thoughts is this: to live always in fear and humility before God, to do good diligently and to avoid evil without ever exalting ourselves in our self-esteem above others because we do not know what our doom may be. "Serve ye the Lord with fear." [Ps. ii, 11] "Fear the Lord all ye His Saints." [ Ps. xxxiii, 10] Such is the Divine will towards us, manifested through St. Paul. God expects us always to be humble, whether it be for that which He reveals to us or for that which He withholds from us. When we read the Holy Scriptures, we find many prophecies proceeding from the Holy Ghost that terrify us; but many others that console us. When we read the writings of the holy fathers we find in them some judgments that are very terrible, and some that are very lenient. When we read the theological works of the scholastics we find in them opinions upon the subjects of grace and predestination that alarm us and others that encourage us. Why is this? The Providence of God has thus disposed it, so that between hope and fear we might remain humble. The mysteries of grace and predestination would no longer be mysteries if we were capable of grasping them with our understanding. To pause and consider whether God has forgiven our sins or not, and whether we are living in a state of grace, or whether we are predestined, etc., is in itself an act of temerity and pride, inasmuch as we are seeking to know the hidden judgments of God Who does not wish us to know them so that we may remain in humility. "Be not highminded but fear," says St. Paul. [Rom. xi, 20]