53. Judgement

53. Another humiliating thought lies in the remembrance of the judgment to come. Saints tremble at the thought that they will be judged by a God in Whose presence not even the Angels are immaculate. They tremble, although they have nothing to be judged except their good works. And what will become of me, therefore, who am guilty of so many sins? Therefore if I esteem myself and seek to be esteemed by others either as more virtuous or less sinful than I really am, it is certain that such a desire can only arise from my own hypocrisy, by which I appear before the eyes of men under a false disguise, leading them to believe that I am one thing when I am really another, because I know that they cannot see what is going on in my heart; but a time will come when God will reveal my wickedness to the whole world: "I will show thy nakedness to the nations, and thy shame to kingdoms." [Nahum iii, 5] And then I shall appear as I really am. And what will they say of me who have been deceived by my false dissemblings? O my soul, be humble and forget not that the more thou art exalted in thy own esteem the more wilt thou be shamed and confounded at the judgment day. For then, as says the prophet, "Man shall be humbled," [Isa. v, 15] and only the humble will be able to glory "in his exultation." [Jas i, 9] Remember that according to the saying of Isaias, the day of judgment has been appointed especially to humble the proud: "Because the day of the Lord of hosts shall be on every one that is proud and high-minded, and he shall be humbled," [Isa. ii, 12] and thou shouldest regard as though specially directed to thyself that prophetic voice from God which says: "Behold I come against thee, O proud one, saith the Lord, for thy day is come, the time of thy visitation. And the proud one shall fall, he shall fall down, and there shall be none to lift him up." [Isa. 1, 31] Ah, how can I indeed esteem myself more than others when we have all to appear as criminals, miserable and naked, before God's judgment seat? So writes St. Paul in his Epistle to the Romans: "But thou, why judgest thou thy brother? And why dost thou despise thy mother? For we shall all stand before the judgment-seat of Christ." [Rom. xiv, 10]