55. But above all the thought of eternity
should keep us humble. Taking it for granted that I am mistaken in practicing
humility in this world, and in giving place to others, I know that my mistake
is small because everything below comes quickly to an end; but if I
am deceiving myself by living in reckless pride, my mistake is great because it
will last for all eternity. But even if I am living in humility, I must still
fear because I can never be sure whether this humility which I think I possess
is true humility or not; how much more then should I fear if I am living in
open pride? So be it, O my soul! satisfy all thy proud desires: be thou
esteemed, praised and honored by all the world; possess knowledge, riches and
pleasure without adversity, without opposition, without any obstacles to
trouble thee or restrain thy vicious passions. And then? And then? I pray thee
in this to imitate the proud Nabuchodonosor, who even in
the fulness of his power thought of "what should come to pass hereafter."
[Dan. ii, 29] All is vanity that hath an end; and we are doomed to enter into
that eternity which hath no end; therefore what will be the end of the vanity
of thy pride? The most ignominious humiliation:. and most bitter lamentations
that will last for ever and ever.
On this side the
grave all things pass away, but on the other side what will become of me? Quid futurum post hæc? To
this I give no thought; and to speak the truth this is the reason why I am
dominated by vanity, because I give so little thought to eternity.
King
David was most humble of heart because he he was filled with the
dread of eternity: "And I meditate in the night with my own heart: Will
God then cast off for ever." [Ps. lxxvi, 7, 8] Whenever the
world offers thee honors, fame and pleasure, remember,
my soul, to say within thyself: And then? And then?
"Remember what things have been before thee." [Ecclus xli, 5]
How many of those
who were conspicuous amongst the proud of this world have overcome their pride
and acquired humility by one single serious thought of eternity! The words of
the prophet have always been and will always be found true: "And the
ancient mountains were crushed to pieces, the hills of the world were bowed
down by the journeys of His eternity." [Hab. iii, 6]
54. O my soul, humble thyself in
the remembrance that there is a Hell, not considering it only
in the abstract, nor even as a contrivance for the punishment of sinners in
general, but regard it rather as a place specially prepared for thyself, and deserved
by thee more than once!
For there the
proud will be cast headlong, and I should be there with them at this moment,
eternally insulted and tormented by devils, had I not been preserved there from
by the mercy of God. Millions of Angels have been imprisoned there for having
committed one sole sin of pride and that only in thought. Ah, my soul, continue
thus in thy pride and thy false self-esteem, guarding
thy own susceptibilities and oblivious of the rights of others,
and "thou shalt be brought down to Hell;" that place of torment
awaits thee, and there below thy pride shall indeed be humbled. Thou who
delightest now in thy own proud thoughts shalt there be thrust into flames of
fire, and thou who now wishest to be above all shalt then be below all. For
there below thou wilt have to face a God Who bears an infinite hatred to the
proud and is infinitely angry with them. And as it is a truth that the humble
shall be exalted in Heaven, it is also a truth that the proud shall be humbled
and cast down into Hell.
"And the rich man also
died"; thus writes St. Luke of a proud man who was "clothed in purple
and fine linen." And the rich man died-----that is the
end of all humanity and vanity; and "he was buried in Hell"
[Luke xvi, 22] -----that is the end of all pride. The grave is the end of man;
Hell is the end of the proud.
53. Another humiliating thought
lies in the remembrance of the judgment to come. Saints
tremble at the thought that they will be judged by a God in Whose presence not
even the Angels are immaculate. They tremble, although
they have nothing to be judged except their good works. And what will become of
me, therefore, who am guilty of so many sins?
Therefore if I esteem
myself and seek to be esteemed by others either as more virtuous or less sinful
than I really am, it is certain that such a desire can only arise from my own hypocrisy,
by which I appear before the eyes of men under a false disguise, leading
them to believe that I am one thing when I am really another,
because I know that they cannot see what is going on in my heart; but a time
will come when God will reveal my wickedness to the whole world: "I will
show thy nakedness to the nations, and thy shame to kingdoms." [Nahum iii,
5] And then I shall appear as I really am. And what will they say of me who
have been deceived by my false dissemblings?
O my soul, be
humble and forget not that the more thou art exalted in thy own esteem the more
wilt thou be shamed and confounded at the judgment day. For then, as says the
prophet, "Man shall be humbled," [Isa. v, 15] and only the humble
will be able to glory "in his exultation." [Jas i, 9] Remember that
according to the saying of Isaias, the day of judgment has been appointed
especially to humble the proud: "Because the day of the Lord of hosts
shall be on every one that is proud and high-minded, and he shall be humbled,"
[Isa. ii, 12] and thou shouldest regard as though specially directed to thyself
that prophetic voice from God which says: "Behold I come against thee, O
proud one, saith the Lord, for thy day is come, the time of thy visitation. And
the proud one shall fall, he shall fall down, and there shall be none to lift
him up." [Isa. 1, 31]
Ah, how can I
indeed esteem myself more than others when we have all to appear as criminals,
miserable and naked, before God's judgment seat? So writes St. Paul
in his Epistle to the Romans: "But thou, why judgest thou thy brother? And
why dost thou despise thy mother? For we shall all stand before the
judgment-seat of Christ." [Rom. xiv, 10]
52. God has Himself given us the
means of obtaining this humility of heart, in the remembrance of death
and by meditation upon it. Death is the best teacher of truth;
and pride-----being nothing but an illusion of our heart-----clings to a vanity
which it does not recognize as vanity; and therefore death is the best means by
which we can learn what vanity is and how to detach our hearts from it.
Our self-love is
wounded at the thought that we must soon die, and when we least expect it, and
that with death everything comes to an end for us in this world; but at the
same time this reflection weakens and humbles our self-love. Unfortunately, we
do not think of death with that seriousness which we ought to give to it.
If I knew for
certain that I had to die within a year, I imagine that I should grow more
humble from day to day at the thought that each day was bringing me nearer to
my death. But who can assure me that I have one year to live-----I, who am not
certain to live to the end of the day?
O my God, true
light of my soul, keep alive within me the remembrance of my death. Tell me
often with Thine own voice in my heart that I must die, perhaps within a year,
perhaps within a month, perhaps within a week; and thus I shall remain humble.
In order that the thought of death may not be unfruitful to me, excite within
my soul now that knowledge and those feelings which I shall have at that last
hour of my life when the blessed taper is placed in my hands "in the day
of trial." [Wisd. iii, 18] Make me know now as I shall know then what
vanity is, and then how can I ever be arrogant again in the face of that most
certain truth? "Vanity of vanities, and all is vanity." [Eccles. i,
2] Job was always humble even in in the days of his prosperity: "My days
shall be shortened and only the grave remaineth for me."[Job xvii, 1]
51. But in order to acquire humility,
it is necessary also to be prudent in not speaking
well of oneself. "Let. another praise thee," says the
inspired word, "and not thy own mouth, a stranger and not thy own
lips." [Prov. xxvii, 11]
It is very easy
for us to fall into this fault of praising ourselves "Until it becomes a
habit, and with this habit so opposed to humility how can we be humble?
What good
qualities have we of our own for which we can praise ourselves? All the good
that is in us comes from God, and to Him alone we must give praise and honor.
When, therefore, we praise ourselves we are usurping glory which is due to God
alone. Even though in praising ourselves we sometimes refer all to the honor of
God, it matters little; when there is no absolute necessity it is better to abstain
from self-praise, for although we refer all to the glory of God with our lips,
our ingenious
and subtle self-love cannot fail to appropriate it secretly. And
even speaking depreciatingly of ourselves there may lurk some hypocritical
pride in our words, such as was mentioned by the sage of old when he said:
"There is one that humbleth himself
wickedly, and his interior is full of deceit." [Ecclus xix, 23]
Therefore we can
never watch over ourselves enough, because there is nothing that teaches us so
well to know the pride of our heart as our words, with which we either reveal
or hide the depravity of our affections. And this is the characteristic of the
proud, according to St. Bernard: "One who boastfully proclaims what he is,
or lies about what he is not." [Epist. lxxxvii]
Let us bear in
heart and mind this precious advice given by Tobias to his son: "Never
suffer pride to reign in thy mind or in thy words." [Tob. iv, 14] The
words of a proud man are nauseous, whether he speaks of himself or
others, and they are hated both by God and man: therefore we should detest this
vice, not only from the Christian but also from the human standpoint.
50. Humility is charitable,
interpreting all things for the best and pitying and excusing the faults of others
as much as possible. For this reason St. Peter, wishing to exhort us to love
and have compassion upon our fellow-creatures, also exhorts us at the same time
to be humble: "Having compassion one of another,
being lovers of the brotherhood-----humble," [1 Pet. iii, 8] for there can
be no charity without humility, and therefore to censure and criticize too
readily the actions of our neighbors and to judge and speak
ill of them are vices which are directly
opposed to the virtue of humility. Who has given me the power to judge
my brethren? When I thus constitute myself their judge and in the tribunal of
my thoughts condemn first one and then another, I am usurping an authority
I do not possess and which belongs to God alone:
"For God is Judge." [Ps. xlix, 6] And if this is not pride, what is
pride? In punishment of such arrogance God often permits us to fall into the
very faults that we have condemned in others, and it is well for us to remember
the teaching of St. Paul: "Wherefore thou art inexcusable, O man,
whosoever thou art that judgest. For wherein thou judgest another thou condemnest
thyself." [Rom. ii, 1] There is always some pharisaical pride
in the heart of him who judges and speaks evil of others, because in belittling
others he exalts himself. It is in vain that we try ahd cover our
evil-speaking under ,the veil of some good motive; it must always be the result
of pride which is quick to find out the weaknesses of others while remaining blind
to its own.
If we are guilty
of pride let us try and amend and not flatter ourselves that we possess the
smallest degree of humility, until by our good resolutions carefully carried
out we have mortified our evil tendency to speak ill of our neighbor. Let us
hearken to the Holy Ghost: "Where pride is there also shall be reproach,
but where humility is there also is wisdom." [Prov. xi, 2]
The proud man is
scornful and arrogant in his speech; and the humble alone knows how to speak
well and wisely. If there is humility in the heart it will be
manifested in the speech, because "A good man out of the good treasure of
his heart bringeth forth that which is good." [Luke vi, 45]
49. It is a special gift of God
to know how to govern the tongue, as the preacher says in his Proverbs:
"It is the Lord who governs the tongue"; [Prov. xvi, 1] and when God
wishes to confer this gift of His upon anyone, He does so by means of humility.
And the Savior teaches us in St. Matthew xii, 34: "Out of the abundance of
the heart the mouth speaketh." Therefore, if the heart is well-regulated
by humility, the tongue will be well-regulated also.
He who is humble
of heart has but a poor opinion of himself and a good opinion of others; hence
it is that he never praises himself or blames others. The humble man speaks
but little, and weighs and measures his words so as not to say more
than truth
and modesty require, and, as his heart is free from vanity, so is
his speech. We argue therefore that there can be little or no humility in our
hearts when there is little or no circumspection in our speech. "Their
heart is vain," says the prophet, and this is the reason why he also adds:
"Their throat is an open sepulcher." [Ps. v, 10, 11] We
speak of those things that fill the heart, "For out of the abundance of
the heart the mouth speaketh," [Luke vi, 45] and our speech will determine
whether truth or vanity predominates in our hearts. It is well to ask God to
curb our tongue, but let us also ask Him to give humility to our heart, for
this alone will be a most powerful curb.
